ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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