i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
