While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
