i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
