I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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