update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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