Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
