it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
