We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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