dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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