One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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