If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
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Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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