I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
