new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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