Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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