I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
