respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
