this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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