Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
