I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
