He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I lost the right to judge tonight
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize