I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
