So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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