no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
