she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize