Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The air was thick with penises
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
