a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
