her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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