hell yes lets make some ravioli
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
