ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
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