you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
