We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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