Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
