puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize