my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm passing your future prison.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
