Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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