Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His nipple licking is glorious
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