Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I cannot find my penis.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize