Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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