My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
how drunk are you?
Several
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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