You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
