i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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