So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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