Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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