My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
