I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
