i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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