Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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