it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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