love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
