Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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