i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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