ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
