toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
