Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
