Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
