My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
