What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize