dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
