Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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