How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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