Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
