I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
