I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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