wrigley field is MILF paradise
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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